


Remorseful Executioner

by biprincess



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fire, Gore, M/M, NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 05:08:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11306307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biprincess/pseuds/biprincess
Summary: He was frozen, but now he's not. Ed is out for blood; Is Oswald ready for him?





	Remorseful Executioner

**Author's Note:**

> Please tread carefully, as it is a bit gory! Only a bit, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. So just be warned.

This man is the closest lookalike. I mean, I swear that if you stood us side by side you wouldn't be able to tell a difference. At first I liked being the object of Os's affections; man after man coming through here, clearly meant to be me but none of them really fitting the bill. 

Now I find it irksome.

For the first couple of days I thought that maybe Os would cave and unfreeze me, and even though I can't tell for sure how long it's been, that clearly hasn't happened. Day after day I watch him do his boring, mundane tasks. Or I watch his get fucked by my lookalikes. I've learned his daily routine. I see it all; and I learn more and more about him as the days go by. 

This was kind of stupid of him, wasn't it? To put me in here until he actually opens up the club? He does know that my brain is still functioning, right? 

He said he needed a reminder of what love had done to him - but I don't think he realizes that this is reminding me, too. And the only thing I can do about it now is grow angrier and angrier as the time passes.  
-  
From where I stand I can see only a few things; a clock, on the wall, but my ice cage blurs the numbers. Underneath the clock I can see the outline of the door, the only way in (or out). I think there's a window behind me, because I can see light sometimes; but not enough to tell how many days have passed. And unless someone walks in front of me, that's about it. That's all I can see.

Suddenly the door opens, and in comes Oswald. I can tell it's him because of his gait and his umbrella. He makes immediate eye contact with my glass home, and kind of smirks when he sees that I'm still here. Like I'd be anywhere else.

Then he limps his away over to me, and uses the end of his cane to knock on the ice. The sound reverberates in my ears. 

He speaks, and it sounds like he's distant, and underwater.

"Ed." he says. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I like to assume that you can."

He would be correct. 

"I, uh...I just wanted to tell you that -" he laughs to himself, like he's said something funny. "- that, uh, I will be opening the club tomorrow evening. My new one, The Iceberg Lounge. Called that for -" he motions at me - "For obvious reasons. So many people are excited to see the main attraction. You do know what that is, don't you?"

He waits.

"You."

Then he spins on his heel and heads for the door. 

"You know," he calls over his shoulder, "I'd be happy about this if I were you, Os. You're going to be the center of attention. That's all you ever want, isn't it? I am going to give you that."

He nods to himself, like some sort of reassurance.

"I am going to give you that."

-  
Os has been gone for a while, and I am seething. I am daring the door to open, please, just so I can see the source of my anger, and do what, I don't know - well, actually, I do know - nothing. I'll just let my anger grow. 

Then, as if he's heard me, Os bursts in. He's attached at the lips to another man - oh, it looks like the same doppelganger from earlier. The one eerily similar to me. A repeat sexual tryst - that's new. 

Ed lookalike kicks the door shut with his foot and sheds Os of his jacket. Os tears his button up shirt down the middle, causing buttons to fall to the floor, scattering upon contact.   
Os undoes his own belt in one fluid motion, tossing it aside. He grabs Not Ed by his tie and walks up them both up to the ice, looking at me for only a brief second before he drops his pants and presses his hands to the glass, spreading his legs. Not Ed hurriedly undoes his pants, spits into his hand, and I try as hard as I can to make my mind, sight, and sound go blank after that.

But the sounds of Os's pleasures find their ways to me anyway.

Something tells me to open my eyes,so I listen to it, and see that the door is opening. Neither of the men see it, because they're facing me, and neither of them hear it, either, because of their own sounds of pleasure.

Who could that be?

The door slowly opens wider, and a head peaks into the room.

Is that...Barbara?  
-  
I think it might be. She scans the room, watching the men go at it for a second, then she sees me like this, and her eyes go wide. She creeps into the room. 

In the light I can see that her hair is a shocking white.

She closes the door behind her and tiptoes over to the discarded pile of clothes, finding Os's cane. She weighs it in her hands, then she looks up to me and grins.

She strides up to the pair, both close to climax now, and she swings the cane hard like she's swinging a baseball bat, striking Not Ed hard in the back of the head. His blood sprays across the glass and he falls to the ground.

Os doesn't even have the time to turn around before she does it again, striking him just as hard. He crumples to the floor beside my lookalike. 

Barbara drops the blood covered cane to the floor with a clatter and walks up to the glass. She nudges the bodies aside with her heeled boot and studies me, tilting her head, seemingly thinking.

Now that she's closer I can see that her skin is a couple shades lighter - lord, what have I missed? What the hell happened?

She puts her hands up to the glass and I see some blood spatter of her fingers soak into the ice. She closes her eyes, breathes in deep and lets it out. Then she steps back, waiting for something.

I can feel myself growing anxious, unsure of what's to come. I want to move, but I can't.

But it turns out that I don't have to wait long.

I swear for a second that I hear a crack of lightning, and then the lights in the room go off. The bulbs shatter and glass falls. I watch as Barbara's body harnesses this electricity, and as her hair begins to glow. I see the electricity, like a thousands of tiny lighting bolts, travel up through the floor and into her person, her core.

When she reopens her eyes, the pupil is like seeing a lighting storm.

She grins when she sees the ball of electricity in her hands, almost proud of herself, then she throws it at my glass case.

I expect it to shatter for some reason, but it doesn't.

It disperses into the ice and I feel it find it's way into my body, forcing it's way past my skin and feeling like millions of thousands needles pricking my body. It's agonizing, the pain of it, but I can't focus on the pain long, because for the first time in a long time my eyes close and my mind is empty.

The world falls silent.  
-  
When I open them again, Barbara is gone. The two men are just now coming to.

I don't feel any different, but then again I don't know what to expect. I guess I thought I'd be out by now or something, but I'm still here.

Os stands, and holds out a hand to help the look alike up. Blood is caked on the side of Oswald's face, and he says to Not Ed,

"Hey, get dressed. I know someone who can heal us, no problem - then I'm to find and kill whoever did this to me. To us."

The man follows orders and they both leave, not even giving me a second glance.  
-  
Their blood rolls down the ice and adds to the watery puddle forming at the base of my glass home.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say that I'm melting.

Slowly, but I seriously believe it might be happening.  
-  
When Os comes back, he still has the lookalike in tow. It's dark outside, I think, because there's no light coming through the window, They walk out of sight and I assume they fall asleep - I don't see them again for hours.  
-  
Morning comes, and when I wake up I see Os pacing back and forth in front of me, muttering to himself. I can feel his anger, but it's nothing compared to mine. Whatever Barbara has done didn't work, I'm still stuck here.

I assume that he's trying to figure out who attacked him. I like knowing who did it and him not knowing; I like that he felt pain. It's the only thing that's given me pleasure since he did this to me.

I think that my lookalike is gone, and that is a relief to me. This man must mean something to Os- like I said, he's never repeating a sexual escapade. He must fuck Oswald well.  
Os stops pacing, his head looking up from the floor into the room that I can't see.

"Hello." he says. "Is that for me?"

Who is he talking to?

It'd better not be that - and then he comes into view, and it is. Jesus, does Os love this guy or something? He's carrying a mug of something hot and he gives it to Oswald; they kiss, quick, so casual that I'm sure they don't even notice what's happening.

But it's making my blood boil.

I've seen many a man come through those doors and have their way with Oswald, like he commands, but none have ever stayed longer than what they were needed for. 

Except this one.

So clearly he must mean something. A relationship might form here, and I simply can't have that. I won't have that. Different men means that he's grieving. The same means that he's healing, which means that eventually he'll want to move on. Move on from me.

And I can't deal with that. 

It feels as thought my blood is surging again. So hot it must be boiling. And I feel myself get angrier as they talk, calmly, falling for each other right in front of me.

I feel a static shock in my hand, surprising me.

What was that?

Wait, was that was Barbara gave me? Holy shit, did she save me? Did she give me my way out?

I feel another shock, forceful, travel fast up my arm. A pop draws the men's attention to me, and they study my home, trying to find the sounds source.

Then the door behind them opens, and Barbra is inside the room. She holds a bat in her hand but she drops it, in the moment opting for simply walking up to Os, and grabbing him by the nape of the neck, and slamming his his head into the ice as hard as she can. I hear the crunch, and he falls hard. Not Ed turns on his heel and tries to make a run for the door, but Barbara trips him and he hits the ground, out cold. I laugh internally at the triviality of it. 

With both men knocked out, Barbara comes up to my slowing melting cage.

"You felt it." she says. "I can tell. The ice melting, which means it worked. It worked!"

What worked?

"Listen, Ed, if you can, I need you to get really, really, angry."

I think back to miss Kringle, and only one pop is heard.

"Angrier."  
An image of Isabella's battered body enters my mind, and a quick fire succession of pops is heard. I wait, thinking that Isabella might have been it, but the pops simmer down fast.

"C'mon, Ed, even angrier than that. I know you can do better."

So, I think back to every man Os has brought through here. The fact that he's alive. That he beat me. I linger on each thought until it hurts too much, and suddenly I'm popping so loud that it fills the room. I feel the ice around me melting quicker and quicker, melting so fast that it causes Barbara to step away from the water, and as my anger rises the ice melts away with rapid fire speed until suddenly...

I'm free.  
-  
I can't believe it.

"Barbara." I say, my voice a bit hoarse.

"Nygma." she says. "Hi, I can't believe it worked, I actually did it!"

"You got me out of there?"

"I did." she says, almost gleefully.

"Wait, how did you? Get me out, I mean?"

"It's my new power. Isn't it the fucking coolest?" she says, jumping on her heels a tiny bit. "At first I was super pissed because Tabitha killed me, but when I woke up I could, like, harness electricity. So much electricity."

I want to ask about the science of it but I know we don't have the time to get into that, so I say instead;

"Why'd you come get me?" I ask, feeling my body to make sure that it's real. I'm thawing fast, and it feels amazing to be out. I stretch and my back pops all the way down my spine.

"Well, you know. Even though Tabs did give me this awesome power, I'm still pissed that she killed me. So I think I'm going to kill her, too. I haven't decided how, yet. I was thinking I'd torture her first though. Definitely the torture first."

"Right, right. Torture, fun. But what about me?"

"Oh, yes, you. I heard through the grapevine that Oswald was opening up a club called The Iceberg Lounge. So naturally I asked, "Why call it that?" And this man tells me that it's because Cobblepot froze a man to death and he's going to be the main attraction. I knew it had to be you. I mean, who else could it be? I had to see for myself."

"Why?"

"Well, because I need your help." she motions to the unconscious Not Ed on the floor. "But more on that later, okay? Right now we need to freeze this guy."

"Freeze him? How are we gonna do that?"

"With Victor, of course. I just used my feminine charm and he said he'd do this one thing for me."

"Victor?" I say. "Victor Fries? No, he'd never betray Os like that."

“He wouldn’t?” she smiles. "You sure?"

Maybe he would.

“Victor!” she calls over her shoulder. “Hey, can you come here for a minute? Pleaseee?”

He stomps in, carrying the gun that froze me. I will hate the gun forever.

“Switch clothes, Ed. With your lookalike there.” Barbara says.

“Uh…” I stand, looking like a complete idiot.

“Did I stutter?” she says. “Do it!”

Quickly I begin to strip Not Ed, and when he’s down to his underwear I strip, too, and switch the outfits. With my clothes he looks just like me.

I heft up newly dressed Not Ed’s body, and put him on the pedestal I was on. He won’t stay standing, so I ask Victor to freeze his legs for a stronger base.

He does it without question.

We go on like this, me setting him up in the same position that I was and Victor freezing him without me having to ask. I position his hands just so, open his mouth in fear. When I’m done he puts a good 6 inches of ice around that, and when we’re done, you can’t even tell a difference.

“He looks just like you.” Barbara says. “Holy shit, that’s amazing.”

I smile in spite of myself. “It is, isn’t it?”

I turn to Barbara. “Is there anything else we need to do?”

“Leave a note that says something like, “Sorry, had to go! But don't sign it, cause we don't know this guy's name."

I find a pen and paper on Os’s desk, and scribble a quick note, something someone just starting a relationship would say - “I’ll come back to see you.”

“Okay, now what?" I say, suddenly eager to get out of here and leave this destruction behind. "Can we leave, please?”

Barbara looks around, and once she sees that everything is in place she says, "Um...yes. "Oh, wait! One last thing.”

Out of the folds of her fur coat Barbra pulls out a gun, and hits Victor across the back of the head with the butt of it.

“Now we can leave.”

She exits first, and it gives me just enough time to give Os one last look without her seeing before I follow Barbara out.  
-  
We’ve been watching the club’s opening night for almost three hours now. From what I can tell, Os bought our story and believes that it’s actually me frozen in the ice. I watch people leave and people go in, Gotham's worst intrigued to see a dead man. I'm about to look away when I see...Tabitha. She and Butch are hand in hand, not a care in the world, trolling into the club to see me.

“Hey, Babs, look." I hit her lightly across the arm. "It’s Tabitha. Do you see her?”

She adjusts in her seat, and I can see the desire to kill flare up in her eyes instantly when she sees Tabitha's happiness.

“Bitch.” she hisses. She unlocks the door and throws it open. “Let’s go.” 

I climb out of the car and follow her to the trunk, which she pops open. There’s a few assault rifles laid out in the back, and we both pick one up. It's heavy, but I feel powerful.

I think that it is going to be so nice to win.

We cross the street quickly, and pause in front of the two huge doors. From inside I can here one hell of a party going on, people laughing, drinking, bass thumping in a low undertone.

"Are you ready?" I say.

She nods.

"Do you think we're going to die in there?"

"No." Barbara responds, too fast for comfort. "Don't be ridiculous. We're here to kill the ones who have hurt us; let's just do it and get the fuck out of here, okay?"

"Okay." I agree.

In unison we kick the door in; the party seems to stop completely. Victims paralyzed by fear already.

I love it.

I think we both do.   
-  
The rifle rest as my side, because even though I wouldn't mind hurting all of these people, they are not my target. Oswald is. Many are crowded around the frozen man; Os had his put up on a pedestal, and under fluorescent light. Victor stands beside the ice sculpture, ready to refreeze when necessary. It seems Os does not know of his betrayal.

There is something wet beneath our feet - I think someone spilled a drink and no one bothered to pick it up. Tsk, tsk - such bad etiquette, and on opening night, too.

Tabitha is still in front of us, as we followed her in, but her back is to us. Barbara is already aiming her rifle straight for Tabitha, and when she turns around, slowly, there's a small smirk on her face like she’s amused. Barbara readjusts her aim right for Tabitha's heart, face emotionless, and I am surprised at her resolve, unsure if I can match it when I see Os.

“Babs, baby. Hey.” she takes in Barbara's new look. "Oh, ouch, you look pretty bad! What happened?"

"You did, you murderous bitch." Barbara snarls.

Tabitha laughs easily, lightly. "Oh, right. Well, you got what you deserved."

Barbara wants to kill her now, I can feel it, but we don't have Oswald yet so I click my tongue. She holds back.

Tabitha turns her attention to me. Butch hangs behind her, and as I watch his eyes move back and forth between us I see his gears trying to put it together, but failing. He has no idea what's going on, and neither do these patrons. But everyone is too fearful to try and run.

"Edward, hello. "Fancy meeting you here. Do you want me to get Cobblepot for you? I'm sure he'll be surprised to see you."

"Get him, please." I say, ignoring everything else that she says. "If you could."

She smiles. "Okay."

She pulls her cell phone out of pocket and dials Os. He picks up immediately.

"Hello? Yeah, it's me. Yeah, they're here. Okay, bye."

"He'll be here in a second." she informs us. "I think he's in the back."

A second later, the door to the back swings open and it is Oswald. He stops short when he sees me.

Then he walks, fast, walks right past everyone without a second glance. I think he’s gonna stop a few feet away but he comes right up to me, stops mere inches from my feet, and looks up into my eyes. If he's noticed the gun, he doesn't say anything about it.

"It's you." he says, his eyes searching mine. "It's really you."

"It's me."

He studies my face for a minute longer, like he’s trying to memorize it. It grows quiet, heavily so, and it weighs down on the club until Os finally shouts, 

“EVERYBODY OUT!”

I jump at the rage in his voice. At the sheer loudness of it.

The people obey, heading for the doors as quickly at they and flooding into the streets. I see Victor leave his post. Tabitha nudges Butch for the door, despite his objections, giving him a lingering kiss that I catch Barbara falter at.

Once it’s just the four of us, Os says my name. Softly, almost under his breath, so light I barely hear it.

"How did you get out?" he says. "And if you're here, who is that in there."

"I had some help." I say.

"You? Accepting help? My, how people change."

I move past the dig, but anger flares up inside me regardless. 

"Your boyfriend is in the ice." I say, trying to keep my cool. "We froze him in there."

Oswald turn to him. "Do you mean to tell me that that's Peter?"

Peter. I nod.

"Is he dead?"

"No." For some reason I answer truthfully.

Os is visibly relieved. It hurts to see him caring about someone.

"Well, thank god for that." he says. "Impressive, that you got him up there like that. That you tricked me. But you messed up." 

"How?" Barbara pipes up.

"You should've killed him." he says, with a shrug. "A love for a love, right, Ed? Peter as revenge for Isabella?"

Him even saying her name causes me to see red for a second, but I do my best to not let it show.

"So now what?" Os walks a circle around me. "You two are going to try to kill us?”

“That’s the plan.” Barbara says. “And I think I’m going to enjoy it. Very much.”

“I think we’re going to enjoy it more." Tabitha says. "Are you ready?” 

For some reason I start to answer, but I realize she’s talking to Os. 

He holds up a finger. “Just a minute. I want to talk to Ed a bit more, okay?”

And so she waits. She immediately obedient, not in an 'under his control way', more like an 'I respect you' way. I wonder how that happened. I’m curious as to how these two met, how they got to be close. I want to ask, but I don’t.

“Ed, can I tell you something?”

Barbara begins to sigh loudly, disgustedly, and Tabitha cracks her whip so loud that she instantly stops.

“I’m...not here to talk.” I respond, feeling the need to tread carefully.

“Then just listen.” Os says. “Do you want to know what your biggest weakness is?”

“If I wanted to know, I would’ve asked.” I retort.

“Oh, so cocky." Os smiles. "But you see, there it is. You let it show without meaning to; it’s your ego.”

“What?” 

“It’s so big that it encompasses everything you do. Every emotion you feel, be it fear, or hate, or love.” 

There it is. I knew he'd bring it up.

"I. Never. Loved. You.” I remind him, enunciating on each word.

He chuckles. “Right, right, of course you don't. I'm sorry. Your lack of love is not the point of this conversation, though; it’s what my weakness is.”

"Yeah? And what’s that?”

“Love.” he says, simply. “It’s Tab’s, too. I think we both love each of you so much that we don’t really know how to handle it. We’re not used to it. And what’s more, I think, is that you two don’t know how to be loved. You can’t accept that someone could see all of your flaws and love you regardless.”

“Isabella loved me.” I say.

“She didn’t even know you!” Os bursts out. “Not like I knew you! Not in the way truly horrible people know each other. Not like Barbara and Tabitha know each other! You two just think that you can come and kill us because of the things we did out of love, out of hurt? You think you two get to beat me? Beat us?”

“Well, we are the ones with the guns.” Barbara says.

“Fuck your guns. You think I’m scared of guns? You think Tabitha is scared of guns?"

"You should be."

"We’re not. And we’re not scared of you, either. In fact, the two of us has decided to end this."

What?

"How? Are you just going to let us kill you?”

“Don’t me ridiculous.” Os says. “No, of course not. We’re going to kill you.”

I almost laugh out loud at the stupidity.

The gun that rests at my side, heavy. I want to use it, but I don't. Not yet. "It'll take two seconds to shoot you."

"Oh, you think? Try it."

That's all Barbara needs to hear. She pulls the trigger without a thought, and the bullet hits Tabitha square in the heart. But Tabitha doesn't budge. She doesn't seem to feel it. No blood soaks through her shirt. She smiles at the shock on our faces. 

"What the hell?" Barbara mutters. She shoots again. It hits Tabitha, but once again it doesn't seem to faze her.

Oh, shit. Our guns are useless.

Tabitha looks up from the gunshots and whispers, almost sadly, “Sorry, baby. But It looks like I’m about to win."

She steps back from Barbara and waits for Os. Barbara's looking for a way out, trying to harness electricity from the room, but it's not working, something is blocking it. She can't reach anything. They knew, somehow, they knew about her power. How could they have -

Victor.

He must've found out, he must've put two and two together. And we betrayed him, so he's going to help kill us.

We're trapped. Panic rises in both of us.

Os reaches up and caresses the side of my face, two intimate for people like us, but I sink into his touch nonetheless

“You told me that love made me weak, Ed, but I don’t agree. You’ve made me stronger, and I will be forever grateful for that.”

“Os -”

"I just want you to know that I don't regret knowing you." he continues. "I don't regret letting you into my life. You showed me that love can save, or it can break, and I know that you think you don't love me, and so I hope that you can see. Love is saving me, and it is breaking you."

"Please -" I start to beg.

"Ed, are you afraid to die?”

“Yes.” I answer, shocking myself with my truthfulness. "I am. I don't want to. I'm sorry, please don't do this -"

“I’m not afraid of death.” he says. “I’ve been so close so many times that I think I’ve actually grown curious about what happens after."

“Why are you telling me this?”

"Well." he says. "I figure you can tell me."

"What?"

But I get my answer immediately. In one fluid motion, Tabs whips the ground and a spark of fire flashes bright. The floor beneath our feet lights up, and it lights up fast. Flames reach for our knees. Barbara is already screaming, as the the fire is burning her skin. Her cries of anguish scars my brain, and yet Tabitha stands, watches, her face still, simply watching. Enjoying.

Gasoline. We were standing in gasoline the whole time. It was never a drink, it was gasoline, and I'm sure the entire floor is coated in it. They were prepared for us. They knew what they were going to and they were willing to die to do it. They were willing to die to watch us die.

The fire spreads throughout the room, and the icicle. Even Peter is melting, all of the ice nearly done already from the severe heat. My god, he doused the whole place. There’s no where to run.

I’m going to die. 

Flames climb up my pant leg, eating at my skin. Barbara is on her knees, trying to speak, her skin bubbling, closer to death than I am. She's trying to say Tabitha's name, but she there's too much smoke. The gun is charred at her feet. Her skin is turning black, and in her eyes she knows she's going to die. She looks at me before she takes one last raggedy breath and falls to the floor, her eyes still open.

Tabitha watches her burn, and now that she's gone she allows tear to fall.

“I’m sorry.” I find myself saying, as the fire eats at my skin. “Please, please don’t do this.”

“It’s too late.” Oswald shouts of over the roaring fire. “It’s too late, Ed. I’m sorry, though. I'm sorry."

"I look him in the eye as flames crawl up my throat and smoke fills my mouth. The fire cracks and pops in my ears, and then I can hear anything anymore.

But I think that I see him say, "I love you.”

The last thing I see is Os’s eyes watching me burn in the the flames. The smoke infiltrates my lungs fast, and I can feel my body dying.I can feel the smoke killing me; and I think I’m begging with Os to help me, but I can’t hear myself think.

I realize that there is nothing left for me to do but say the one thing that’s been weighing me down, what has been on my mind since before Oswald froze me. 

“Oswald.” say, loud enough that I hope he can hear me since I can't hear myself. “I’m sorry for everything, too.”

I’m about to lose consciousness. There's no oxygen left. I make direct eye contact with Os one last time, and let the certain shade of blue of his eyes fill my mind, so I can feel some kind of peace, if only for a second.

“I love you, too.” I say.

His face falters. He facade falls apart almost immediately. 

It feels so good to say it aloud that for a mere second I forget my situation. So I say it again. 

“I love you, too, Oswald. I'm sorry I never told you before."

The last thing I see is Oswald running to get to me. He drops his umbrella and runs to me, but I think we both no it’s too late now. The fire is too hot, there's too much smoke, I'm going to die, and I'm going to die soon.

I love Os for trying. I love him for loving me, I do.

As my world goes black, and even though it's too late, I still love him anyway.

Epilogue

“You tried to save him.” Tabitha says, already stepping out of her suit. “Why would you do that?”

“He said he loved me.” I say. "You heard him. He said he loved me."

“So?” she says. “You know he didn’t mean it. Those two don't feel love. He couldn't have meant it."

“But what if he did, Tabitha?”

She pauses, Takes in the burnt bodies of our dead lovers, of the destruction around us.

“Then...I guess it doesn’t matter now. There's nothing we can do. It's too late to feel remorseful, Oswald. So try not to, okay?"

"What is he thought I loved Peter?" I say.

"I'm sure he did." she says. "But you let him burn, too. He saw you do that. So maybe he didn't. You should've told him you didn't if that's something that you wanted him to know."

But I messed it up. I missed my chance.

Tabitha knows this, so she doesn't say anything.

So she shrugs, and sighs, and then she changes the conversation, dismissing this from her mind and her heart just like that. I envy her for it.

“I can’t believe Bridgit's suit actually worked." she says. "Bulletproof and fireproof, how cool is that?"

Then she turns and walks away, leaving me alone with the bodies. 

As I look at them, look at Edward, I can’t help but think that I made a mistake. I feel guilt creep into my heart, my bones.

My god, I think I have made the biggest mistake.

I thought I wanted to win, but looking at what I’ve done and feeling how I feel, I don’t know if it was worth it. If I've won, why doesn't this feel like a victory?

I'm trying to not feel any remorse, like Tabitha said; but it’s too late. The remorse has found a home in me, and now all I'll feel is guilt.

I'm getting what I deserve. I'm paying for my sins. Even though I killed Ed, he's found a way to stay with me, and it's the worst way imaginable.

It's starting to feel like Ed may have won after all.


End file.
